


you saw my pain washed out in the rain

by philindas



Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philindas/pseuds/philindas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the fan art created for the headcanon of what the jabberjays would sound like if Haymitch had gone into the arena during the Quarter Quell instead of Peeta. Haymitch/Effie centric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you saw my pain washed out in the rain

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this: http://lizmoved.tumblr.com/post/69749734497/mrsgingles-this-is-probably-the-most-upsetting

He doesn’t tell her about the pact with Peeta until the night before he’s due back in the arena.

She’s drinking in the lounge; he’s full of pills they’d given him to prep for the arena, but he still pours himself a glass because the idea of Effie drinking alone is too foreign for him to comprehend. They’re silent for a long time; Effie’s pale fingers are curled tightly around the glass in her hands, her head bowed and pale gold wig slightly askew on her head, like she tried running her fingers through it, as though she’d momentarily forgotten it was a wig.

“It isn’t fair.”

Her whisper is so quiet he almost doesn’t catch it- probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the forced sobriety- but he does hear it, and his heart clenches in his chest. He’d seen firsthand the changes in Effie since Katniss and Peeta had both left the arena alive a year ago; he’d seen the changes since the Quarter Quell was announced and Effie had had to read off the names of the two kids she cared about most, in her odd, Capitol way.

“Which part?” he asked, watching as her grip tightened on the glass; beneath the powder, he could see how white her skin was as it was stretched tight over the bone.

“All of it. All of this,” Effie replied, voice shaking as she swallowed, finally looking up at him; her make-up was starting to smear, and the red rims around her eyes were prominent against the white powder she’d caked over her face. “Katniss going back, _you_ going back- it’s been 25 years why would they bring you back you should be _done_ Haymitch, you should-“

“It was never going to be fair, Effie,” Haymitch replied, cutting her off before she could continue further. “It was never gonna be fair the minute both of them stepped outta that arena a year ago.”

“Peeta doesn’t deserve to lose her,” Effie said after another stretch of silence, finishing her drink and standing to get another, tilting slightly in her heels as she walked. Haymitch swallowed, tearing his eyes away from her form as she turned back towards him.

“’S why I volunteered for him,” he murmured, half-under his breath, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on it. A stupid thought, honestly, as her eyes widened, mouth dropping open as she looked at him. “Promised him I’d get her out of the arena.”

“You don’t intend to come back,” Effie whispered, and she chokes a little, head dropping to her left shoulder, away from him as her shoulders shake. He’s not quite sure what compels him to go to her, but before he knows it, he’s got her pulled into a half-hug, her face in his bicep and her hand gripping the shirt at his waist tightly.

“Gotta give ‘em a chance,” he murmured, his nose brushing against her wig; it smelled like strawberries and cream, and he could feel the damp flutter of her eyelashes against his arm. “’M not doing anyone any good the way I am. No one’s even gonna notice.”

“Don’t say that. You have helped those kids every step of the way this past year,” Effie said, and she sounded inexplicably angry. She paused, and swallowed, before continuing, tone softening and voice lowering. “I’ll notice.”

It’s an acknowledgment he never expected from Effie Trinket, and Haymitch doesn’t quite know what to do with it. He excuses himself after another few moments, falling into an uncomfortable sleep filled with dreams of a baby crying and Effie covered in blood.

When he awakes, it’s time to go to the arena.

_*

Effie hadn’t spent much time in the viewing center in previous years; in most years, the District 12 tributes barely made it past the Cornucopia, and she’d never had the stomach for death. Occasionally she’d sit with Haymitch in the communal room, and other times, she’d watch in the private room reserved for District 12. Last year, she’d spent most of her time with Haymitch, once it became clear that Katniss and Peeta were true contenders, but even still, she took frequent breaks.

This year, she locked herself in the private viewing room the moment the transport disappeared with Katniss, Haymitch, and Cinna.

It becomes clear from the start that Haymitch has managed an alliance with Finnick and Johanna, along with his friends from District 11. There are a few deaths within the first minutes, but Effie only has eyes for Haymitch and Katniss; they’ve managed to grab weapons and disappear into the woods with Finnick carrying Mags and Johanna trailing behind, watching their backs.

She wriggles the spile out of one of the sponsors after a few hours, and heaves a sigh of relief when Haymitch realizes how it works almost immediately.  She watches as he volunteers to take the first watch, leaning back against the tree, Katniss curled up not far away from him.

It’s not long later that the fog drifts in, and a wave of panic with it.

She watches helpless as Mags sacrifices herself after kissing Finnick and squeezing Haymitch’s arm, as they wash away the gas in the pond they find- she arranges for medicine to be sent, and leaves the room momentarily to get the largest cup of coffee she can find. When she comes back, a new horror has arisen; she watches as the District 6 female sacrifices herself to save Haymitch, and she feels the terror in her chest release slightly as he walks away unharmed.

It’s quiet for a few hours after that; the medicine arrives, and the District 3 tributes that Katniss had off nicknames for meet up with them, and Effie allows herself a brief nap, her head resting uncomfortably on the table in front of her. She awakens to find not much has changed; the group is moving together slowly, Katniss close to Haymitch, when she hears it.

She hears herself scream.

It shouldn’t be- can’t be- possible; she’s never screamed Haymitch’s name in any capacity, but she can hear herself, yelling for him- pleading for him to save her. On screen, Haymitch freezes, his entire body tense, before he pulls his knife out. Next to him, Finnick is tense as well; the voice of a young woman is calling for him, and then Effie sees them- the big, black jabberjays.

Another terrified shriek in her voice rings out, and Haymitch turns sharply, eyes wild. “ _Effie!_ ”

She doesn’t realize how closely she’s gotten to the screen until she reaches out and her fingers touch the image of Haymitch, calling her name repeatedly, his voice becoming more and more desperate.

“ _No_ ,” she whispered, fingers on the screen- and tears on her cheeks, she realized. “Haymitch, no. It isn’t real, _it isn’t real_.”

On screen, Haymitch continued to hack at the birds, but more continued to appear, her screams they emitted growing louder and louder. Effie could see Katniss trying to yell to him, to ground him enough to get him under control again, but she watched his mouth, throat closing when she saw him yell ‘ _she isn’t safe!_ ’.

“But I am safe,” she whispered, tasting salt on her tongue, belatedly realizing it was because of her tears. “I promise I’m safe Haymitch, I’m right here I’m safe.”

She watched as he continued to search for her in desperation, his face tight, and she sunk to her knees, fingers on the screen as she hung her head, shoulders shaking as she fought for control of her breathing.

The only thing she could hear was Katniss comforting Haymitch, voice low even through the speakers.

“Effie’s alright; Effie’s always alright.”


End file.
